It has been a few years since I started feeling bad about almost everything I did. At first, I assumed it was just a bad phase of my life. But it wasn’t. It didn’t go away. With time it’s only gotten worse and it took me way too long to accept the fact that I actually needed help to overcome this. Thanks to my girlfriend being so understanding, I’ve been able to keep a certain level of sanity and positive attitudes towards all situations – if not for her and my mother, I would’ve lost it, in all honesty.
I started noticing it myself at the end of 2015, after I finished my I.T. course and not being able to get a job. According to people close to me it’s been getting progressively worse since 2010~2011 and my mother even points out to earlier times – of course, she wanted me to get help, but I’ve always refused because we couldn’t really afford it and because I thought I’d overcome this alone. That was a huge mistake. Fighting this for years on my own has lead me to nothing but tiredness.
I’ve always been a quiet person overall – I like my quiet place where I can write, read, listen to music and play games without disturbing or being disturbed by someone else. I’m writing this mostly to just let all these thoughts out and maybe – just maybe – someone ends up reading this and identifies with this situation.
This is the first post of a few I want to make regarding the situation and how games have help me stabilise my emotions and my mind.
It feels good to write again after so many years – even though I’m as rusty as I could be.