Years Fighting

It has been a few years since I started feeling bad about almost everything I did. At first, I assumed it was just a bad phase of my life. But it wasn’t. It didn’t go away. With time it’s only gotten worse and it took me way too long to accept the fact that I actually needed help to overcome this. Thanks to my girlfriend being so understanding, I’ve been able to keep a certain level of sanity and positive attitudes towards all situations – if not for her and my mother, I would’ve lost it, in all honesty.

I started noticing it myself at the end of 2015, after I finished my I.T. course and not being able to get a job. According to people close to me it’s been getting progressively worse since 2010~2011 and my mother even points out to earlier times – of course, she wanted me to get help, but I’ve always refused because we couldn’t really afford it and because I thought I’d overcome this alone. That was a huge mistake. Fighting this for years on my own has lead me to nothing but tiredness.

I’ve always been a quiet person overall – I like my quiet place where I can write, read, listen to music and play games without disturbing or being disturbed by someone else. I’m writing this mostly to just let all these thoughts out and maybe – just maybe – someone ends up reading this and identifies with this situation.

This is the first post of a few I want to make regarding the situation and how games have help me stabilise my emotions and my mind.

It feels good to write again after so many years – even though I’m as rusty as I could be.


3 thoughts on “Years Fighting

  1. Depression is one of the hardest boss battles I’ve ever had to fight; way worse because it’s forever recurring. Just when you think you may have beaten it/figured out a way to cope, it attacks you again. Blogging has helped me immensely. The community here is so supportive (at least the one I’ve found), and I’ve always loved gaming, too, which helps out also. I feel like I want to say more, but seem to be fumbling it. Anyway, I may have just followed your blog and we’ve never met, but I want to let you know I support you as a fellow depressed writer and gamer who’s trying to muddle her way through as well 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks so much for those words 🙂
      So far people have been supportive here, indeed! I honestly didn’t expect anyone to find this blog interesting or even find it at all. Writing has helped me in the past and I thought it could help me again – and maybe help if someone reads.

      Again, thank you for your words, they’re appreciated 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • WordPress has been amazingly supportive. Like much, much better than Facebook which is weird because that’s where most of my IRL friends are. I think writers/bloggers have some sort of awesome bond. I’m glad I could help! No one should ever feel alone with this kind of thing, though it’s sad and odd that depression is so prevalent, yet feeling alone is one of the major symptoms.

        Liked by 2 people

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